Welcome to the National Museum of Progress!

We put together this virtual exhibition for you to better understand the humble material origins of our superior species before the Great Developmental Leap. This should be a reminder of what would have been if not for the Final Externalization of human memory that finally made the decaying outer envelopes of our ancestors redundant.

Imagine yourself in the early 2000’s spending ridiculous amounts of time spectrum performing daily* routines of an average American. You will get to know about the energy one needed to sustain bodily functions and activities to organize the mountains of stuff in one’s surroundings. We believe it was used for some form of ritualized body cleansing. Indeed many of the objects we were lucky to find suggest there was something ill-conceived, and therefore at the end not worth preservation, in humans’ relationship to their bodies. They performed a great number of primitive, time consuming activities every single day* in order to maintain their physical bodies. It is hard to imagine from our perspective but our ancestors would simply cease without the flesh shells! They wasted numerous time cycles honing bodily functions to become better, fitter, more productive but above all to alter the original design of the body. They wasted days* and months* and years* trying to expand its limited capabilities. For that only purpose they occupied and unscrupulously exploited the geophysical surroundings of the historic planet Earth up to its final destruction.

In subsequent virtual exhibition spaces you will be exposed to the reconstructions of foolish pastime activities that were popular in those slow times. Original 3D objects from the Antropocene are displayed in the virtual footnote-showcases.  And while you are welcome to interactively participate in most of the holograms presented, please under any circumstances do not enter the breading diorama! As we know those were places where human offspring was isolated in glass incubators and then on high security playing enclosures from the rest of society to make it viable to survive. For reasons we are still researching all objects related to those activities are full of dangerous radiation that could mess up with your chips and temporary disable your cognitive functions.

Please make yourself comfortable in your home boxes and enjoy the ride into the history of our unspectacular past!

*unit in which humans used to separate the strain-recovery circles until the final stress followed by irreversible shut down of the system occured